MEET DIANE LAM

When I first met Diane, I was instantly pulled by her sunshine and positive energy. She owns Diane Lam Co, a successful business helping online entrepreneurs scale effortlessly. So, as part of my series for AAPI month, I knew she was the first person I wanted to interview. Read more about her entrepreneurial journey below and what it means to forge the entrepreneurship path as an Asian American in today’s world.

Can you tell us a little about your cultural background and heritage?

I’m half Chinese, half Filipino, and I speak neither because English was the only language my parents had in common. 

How has your heritage and cultural background shaped your experiences and perspectives in business?

If you’ve read the Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother - my parents were very much like that. Like a lot of immigrant parents, they pushed me and my siblings to keep our heads down, study hard, and do as we’re told to have a successful life.

They wanted us to become doctors, lawyers or to get “safe, government jobs.” But ironically enough, my parents ran a busy Chinese restaurant and worked long restaurant hours.

I saw how hard they worked, and even though I was never interested in medicine or law, I also vowed never to be a business owner…because it was unsafe. Insecure. And it seemed like it required way more physical labor than I had in me.

And look where I am now. It’s jarring to see how far I’ve come, and I realized many of the immigrant mentalities that my parents ingrained in me did not serve in corporate and definitely did not serve me in my own business. 

It’s taken a lot of personal development work and effort to unlearn some of those lessons, and I’m so thankful for it now.

Who are some AAPI figures that have inspired you throughout your life?

This is a hard question because there weren’t many AAPI people in mainstream media when I was growing up. The first person that comes to mind is Connie Chung as she read the news. 

As I went through school and worked at large financial institutions for over a decade, most of the AAPI people I came into contact with were my peers and had very similar mannerisms of keeping quiet and working hard. Even up until my last corporate position, there was, I think, one AAPI man at the executive level and no AAPI women at that level.

 I never really thought about the lack of representation until a few years ago because it felt like we were there but also not there.

What are some challenges you've faced as an AAPI person, and how have you overcome them?

The most common challenge is people assuming that I’m meek and will work very hard. At one of my corporate positions, an Executive level director referred to Asians as “workhorses,” and we should only hire more AAPI individuals for that reason. 

That was the beginning of the end of my corporate career. I realized then that that kind of person with that kind of attitude would always be above me. So either I had to learn to live with it, or I needed to move on.

I ultimately chose to move on. 

I didn’t feel like I had the words or the power to tell them how offensive their comment was, but I have developed strength and power in myself to be able to stand up and speak up now.

What advice would you give to young AAPI individuals who may be struggling with their identity in the business world? 

There are so many things to be said, but I suppose the first thing, the step that started off the chain reaction, is to let go of the deeply ingrained AAPI cultural mannerism and mindsets that do not serve you as a business owner - things like keeping quiet, not causing a fuss, just keeping working hard, not setting boundaries, giving your power away to a boss or a client…the list goes on and on. 

These were all things I was taught growing up that held me back as a business owner and made me fearful of charging my worth or setting boundaries that kept me from burnout. 

It’s really tough to go against what you’ve been taught your whole life as the “right” way of being, but it’s needed and so, so, so worth it - if for no other reason than your mental and emotional health. 

Can you share a particularly meaningful or impactful experience you've had as an AAPI person?

I was in New York City as COVID was coming onto the scene. I was in a restaurant when someone made disparaging comments about AAPI people and the spread of Covid.

I didn’t even think about it and repeated the story to a friend who just looked at me, shocked that I’d repeated what they said without flinching. At that moment, I realized how desensitized I’d become to racial stereotypes and comments that are made about AAPI people.

After that conversation, I knew I could and would do better for myself and my community. It also put the personal experiences that I’d brushed off as normal or jesting under a whole new lens.

What do you hope to see for the future of the AAPI community?

I’d love to see a change in the concept of success within the AAPI community. I hope to see a future where more AAPI entrepreneurs are loud, visible, and out there because, culturally, it doesn’t feel right, ok, or safe to be so bold. 

How do you believe non-AAPI individuals can best support and ally with the AAPI community?

I don’t think there’s one perfect way to support everyone, and I think the best way forward is to be open. To ask questions about what an AAPI person in your sphere or community needs to feel supported and give the support you can based on what they need.

Are there any AAPI organizations or causes that you are particularly passionate about or involved in?

That’s a great question! I support Stop AAPI Hate. Learning and education are part of my core values, and I really respect their focus on helping communities understand what's happening, why, and how it impacts the community at large. https://stopaapihate.org/